A perv and his dog be nearby the subway station
Coming later, "My month in the present state of be[com]ing retarded." For 25-odd teaching hours a week this month, am/is/are were the only verbs at my disposal, something that has cost me at least 5 precious IQ points.
For now, an anecdote from earlier today. So, I've already mentioned my big-time pervert of a student who clearly puts everyone else off. The the ladies in the class huddle right next to me and I make The Perv sit as far away from them as possible. Also, his English is piss-poor. For example, I named him "John" - since it is easy enough to pronounce with Korean phonetics and if he's ever been laid he certainly had to pay for it - a name he has not managed to spell on his first several attempts. For another example, on a vocabulary test, his answers included two gibberish words - such as "rraspalt" - and "hat". The other 27 spaces were left blank. Since the vocab includes words like "blaspheme", "awkwardly", and "mute", it's safe to say that "hat" shouldn't have appeared on the test. Nice try, "Jen".
The school is run around the concept that Koreans already know English grammar, mandatory in most schools, and have a good working vocabulary. So, largely the lessons are centered around conjugating. The lesson for the day included prepositions, so I was trying to challenge the other students, all of whom are pretty decent at picking things up. So, I presented the ladies with "outside near Jamshil subway station with my husband". When they conjugated it to "Are you outside near Jamshil subway station," this one woman was skilled enough to change it to "with your wife?", something that wouldn't have occurred so smoothly in all my classes, and not really something I concern myself with in the lessons. When I pointed to John for the third-person, she balked a little bit: "Is [Mark]..." "Is John," I insisted. After a deep sigh, she started: "Ees John [sic] Jamshil near subway station weeth heez wi-, weeth dog."
I utilize his name a lot in class, not only because he's the only opportunity for the third-person masculine other than a personified houseplant, but because at first I thought I was only imagining that these ladies tend to make mistakes that they wouldn't ordinarily make when using his name in example sentences. You can almost hear their ass-cheeks clench together and their joints lock up at the mention of "John", all the worse when they are made to say it themselves. I've learned how to say "Why are you nervous" in Korean, and these ladies answer by gesturing with their eyes. In turn, they said that they wouldn't resign unless John gets moved out of their class - something I tried to have happen on the first day.
There is a soda fountain in the lobby, and John's mouth is always crusted in orange soda. Only squatty kids and perverts drink orange soda, and John does so ravenously.
For now, an anecdote from earlier today. So, I've already mentioned my big-time pervert of a student who clearly puts everyone else off. The the ladies in the class huddle right next to me and I make The Perv sit as far away from them as possible. Also, his English is piss-poor. For example, I named him "John" - since it is easy enough to pronounce with Korean phonetics and if he's ever been laid he certainly had to pay for it - a name he has not managed to spell on his first several attempts. For another example, on a vocabulary test, his answers included two gibberish words - such as "rraspalt" - and "hat". The other 27 spaces were left blank. Since the vocab includes words like "blaspheme", "awkwardly", and "mute", it's safe to say that "hat" shouldn't have appeared on the test. Nice try, "Jen".
The school is run around the concept that Koreans already know English grammar, mandatory in most schools, and have a good working vocabulary. So, largely the lessons are centered around conjugating. The lesson for the day included prepositions, so I was trying to challenge the other students, all of whom are pretty decent at picking things up. So, I presented the ladies with "outside near Jamshil subway station with my husband". When they conjugated it to "Are you outside near Jamshil subway station," this one woman was skilled enough to change it to "with your wife?", something that wouldn't have occurred so smoothly in all my classes, and not really something I concern myself with in the lessons. When I pointed to John for the third-person, she balked a little bit: "Is [Mark]..." "Is John," I insisted. After a deep sigh, she started: "Ees John [sic] Jamshil near subway station weeth heez wi-, weeth dog."
I utilize his name a lot in class, not only because he's the only opportunity for the third-person masculine other than a personified houseplant, but because at first I thought I was only imagining that these ladies tend to make mistakes that they wouldn't ordinarily make when using his name in example sentences. You can almost hear their ass-cheeks clench together and their joints lock up at the mention of "John", all the worse when they are made to say it themselves. I've learned how to say "Why are you nervous" in Korean, and these ladies answer by gesturing with their eyes. In turn, they said that they wouldn't resign unless John gets moved out of their class - something I tried to have happen on the first day.
There is a soda fountain in the lobby, and John's mouth is always crusted in orange soda. Only squatty kids and perverts drink orange soda, and John does so ravenously.
posted by Mark Hernandef at 3:00 PM
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