What a coinkidink! You're cool and you make your pinky stink

Back in my old neighborhood, there was this whitey-chick with cool hair who I would pass to or fro' work 3-4 times a week, usually in the morning. She had her headphones on every time we passed, so our communication was just limited to a reciprocal smile, wave, smile, optional curtsy/shrug, blush. So, with the headphones on, she never heard the charming things I would say, such as "good morning cute girl with cool hair and headphones on, who doesn't hear the charming things that I say," or "I have a feeling we live parallel lives, which are only meant to intersect 100 yards on either side of this bridge."

I would actually make a point to be out of the door by 9:03, to increase the chances of our 9:05 bridge encounter, putting me at work a few minutes earlier than I needed to be. Lame, sure. But cute, right? Though I thought it was almost a better story if we'd never talked - what if she opens her mouth and turns out to be utterly vapid, right? I didn't want to make the smile, wave, smile, curtsy, blush more complicated; worse, what if she had misshapen ears? - the last couple days I worked in that neighborhood I'd resolved to stop being a pussy. However, no dice and we didn't bump into each other.

Fast forward to my Thanksgiving cocktail party - a full month after our last chance encounter - and a success at that: 30-odd people through the night, many-many bottles of liquor/wine killed, the drunkest hand-turkeys ever made [I'm completely devoid of artistic ability, and mine looked like it had a scrotum-gizzard, which oddly enough was my nickname in high school], and a whipped cream fight. Who walks through into my place, randomly around midnight? Cute girl with the cool hair, sans headphones! A friend of a friend's roommate, apparently. She admonished me, of course, for never gesturing for her to remove the headphones. And said she'd started taking the bus the last couple days I was at work, once it turned cold. Let me add that I now live about 15 miles away from where I did before, an hour's journey by cab/foot and subway.

Lo! She actually turned out to be very interesting, and I wasn't drunk enough not to get a phone number: "I'm sorry, this is too cute a story for me not to pursue." [Ok, in reality between the whisky, Jager, tequila, general awkwardness, and wine I'm sure it was more like "Your number. Phone do you have one? Ok? Awesome."]

I'm not one for hyperbole, but yesterday was probably the longest I've ever talked to anyone without having them say something that put me off in the slightest. I've met this girl, Alaska chick, for Sunday Mexican food a couple times now, yesterday having turned into a nine hour lunch date. The last place we went to, for a weekend cap, ending up being that random-ass bar where my stupid ass was duped into paying almost $200 for a bottle of wine a couple months back - a place that I'd thought I'd NEVER be able to find again.

At which point was I decidedly keen? When Alaska chick shared a story about how she would "stinky pinky" friends. Female Mark? I dunno, but one of my favorite things to do growing up was to fart on my hands and blow my siblings an affectionate kiss: "Your breath stinks, stinky breath." "It's not my breath, turd breath. Yeah, right. I farted on my hand and blew you a kiss." "Yeah, right. Butthole... breath." My favorite movie line ever is probably in "Y Tu Mama Tambien," where Tenoch cuts one in the car and says "Do you smell bread?" - a riot! There was a summer as an undergrad where I received a research grant and could've been considered a professional scatologist. Etc. She's the only person ever who was more amused than put off by my "butt germs" phobia story that culminated in me crapping my pants the day my sister was born.

Stinky pinky? +5 points for sure. Hmm, likes Journey... and Chuck Palahniuk? Luckily, now that I'm older I'm able to grant her a free pass on that one. All girls like Journey and Chuck Palahniuk, for whatever reason. Nevermind. -1 point just because.