Deflated
Today, I was browsing the internet to see if Ignatius J. Reilly was a direct influence on The Comic Book Guy - something that caused me to wake up in a cold sweat last night. The findings were inconclusive, but the search did yield an overly emotional reaction to the deadpan prose of a typical wiki article:
Something about The Comic Book Guy holding a master's degree in folklore caused me to simultaneously giggle and weep. One wiki link later, and I swear that my body 15 pounds ago has been wikified. There were a few dead-ringers for CBG at the folklore conferences I've been to, but I'm a little miffed that Matt Groening would've given this degree to the most. pedantic cartoon character. ever. I mean, who gets an MA in folklore?
To conclude, last weekend there was an 80s party at a friend's house. Quite the shabang. I'd spent the previous couple weeks growing a beard, coincidently, but it was getting to scratchy. So, I decided to shave it into a ridiculous 80s mustache for the occasion. Replete with an army of chest hair bursting from orange/brown velour, I was ready to go. This cute Korean chick went up to me:
Ahha! Opportunity strikes? However, I lacked the savvy to parlay that into a phone number:
Then she went back to the snack table and reported to her also-hot friends. Worst. Game. Ever.
Voiced by Hank Azaria, the obese, nerdy, hairy Comic Book Guy is perhaps
best known for his sarcastic quips. He holds a master's degree in folklore and mythology (he translated The Lord of the Rings into Klingon as part of his thesis). His catchphrase is the declaration "Worst. (Noun). Ever.", which is usually
delivered with slight pauses between each word, or variants with slightly
different wording (such as "Worst. Theme Park. Ever.").
Something about The Comic Book Guy holding a master's degree in folklore caused me to simultaneously giggle and weep. One wiki link later, and I swear that my body 15 pounds ago has been wikified. There were a few dead-ringers for CBG at the folklore conferences I've been to, but I'm a little miffed that Matt Groening would've given this degree to the most. pedantic cartoon character. ever. I mean, who gets an MA in folklore?
To conclude, last weekend there was an 80s party at a friend's house. Quite the shabang. I'd spent the previous couple weeks growing a beard, coincidently, but it was getting to scratchy. So, I decided to shave it into a ridiculous 80s mustache for the occasion. Replete with an army of chest hair bursting from orange/brown velour, I was ready to go. This cute Korean chick went up to me:
Is that real?
My mustache?
No, your chest hair.
Ahha! Opportunity strikes? However, I lacked the savvy to parlay that into a phone number:
[in Korean] Do you like many body hair?
[in English] [snicker]... Not really.
Then she went back to the snack table and reported to her also-hot friends. Worst. Game. Ever.
posted by Mark Hernandef at 9:28 PM
4 Comments:
Do you also have those gross little ripcurls of hair on your back like in the photo? I recall your back hair growing in long, luxurious combers that any Korean lassie would be lucky to welter in.
I've been reading a lot of nautical books lately. We could both use some girlfriends.
Aw, mean Korean girls. Bet your 80s look was awesome.
Holy crap, my Dad's on Wikipedia!
I loved A Confederacy of Dunces.
Additionally, the thought of a Korean girl "weltering" in the "long, luxurious combers" of your back hair makes me want to hurl.
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