Deflated

Today, I was browsing the internet to see if Ignatius J. Reilly was a direct influence on The Comic Book Guy - something that caused me to wake up in a cold sweat last night. The findings were inconclusive, but the search did yield an overly emotional reaction to the deadpan prose of a typical wiki article:

Voiced by Hank Azaria, the obese, nerdy, hairy Comic Book Guy is perhaps
best known for his sarcastic quips. He holds a master's degree in folklore and mythology (he translated The Lord of the Rings into Klingon as part of his thesis). His catchphrase is the declaration "Worst. (Noun). Ever.", which is usually
delivered with slight pauses between each word, or variants with slightly
different wording (such as "Worst. Theme Park. Ever.").

Something about The Comic Book Guy holding a master's degree in folklore caused me to simultaneously giggle and weep. One wiki link later, and I swear that my body 15 pounds ago has been wikified. There were a few dead-ringers for CBG at the folklore conferences I've been to, but I'm a little miffed that Matt Groening would've given this degree to the most. pedantic cartoon character. ever. I mean, who gets an MA in folklore?

To conclude, last weekend there was an 80s party at a friend's house. Quite the shabang. I'd spent the previous couple weeks growing a beard, coincidently, but it was getting to scratchy. So, I decided to shave it into a ridiculous 80s mustache for the occasion. Replete with an army of chest hair bursting from orange/brown velour, I was ready to go. This cute Korean chick went up to me:

Is that real?

My mustache?

No, your chest hair.

Ahha! Opportunity strikes? However, I lacked the savvy to parlay that into a phone number:

[in Korean] Do you like many body hair?

[in English] [snicker]... Not really.

Then she went back to the snack table and reported to her also-hot friends. Worst. Game. Ever.

Etc.

Answer to question posed... awhile ago:

According to a couple concerned mothers who have approached me to write middle school acceptance letters for their children, middle schools in Seoul are becoming increasingly more competitive. The reason for this isn't, however, "because [I] touch [myself] at night." This is a bizarre outcome of the Virginia Tech shootings. The incident sent the whole country into mania, and front-page stories in the Korean media ran the spectrum from "U.S. shooting prompts concerns of racial backlash" to official presidential apologies. Random people on the subway offered their condolences and my sixth grade students wouldn't stop talking about it. All this, apparently, has culminated in several wealthy parents' decisions not to send their children off to US boarding schools for middle school, as is otherwise typical within that demographic.

There was a fieldtrip last Friday, to an island of some historical significance. It was cool to see Korea's answer to Stonehenge - and it's always nice to get out of Seoul for awhile and get some fresh air - but I was kinda bored at one point and thumbing around at this one temple. I saw this gaggle of females not too far away, stopping to refresh themselves at one of the communal drinking fountains that are present at every Buddhist temple I've been to. Hands in pockets, I shrugged and saddled up: "A couple of them look to have somewhat disproportionately large faces, but this will help occupy a couple minutes." I doffed my invisible cap and said a few pleasantries to these lasses. Right away, it was apparent from the spit bubbles forming at the corner of their mouths - as well as the elongated vowels of their reciprocal pleasantries - that I was just spitting game at what we in the business refer to as "special needs [high school] students." In a Buddhist temple. Bad karma?

As for the job, it's decidedly a step up from where I've been. It's a great gig, actually, it's just that the sixth grade aspect is what one would expect. I'm still trying to figure them out - and to get them to stop swearing in my class. They're learned ways to circumvent my no-swearing policy.

For example, sixth grade joke of last week:
Q: What starts with F and ends with U-C-K?
A: Firetruck.

Other variations include "flexible duck" and "five bucks." Clever I suppose, but I still hear my students casually say "oh shit!" when they drop their pencil or dislike the school's lunch offerings for the day - something of an overreaction.

In less than two months I'll be joining the entire sixth grade class for a week-long fieldtrip to Japan. Then immediately afterwards I'll be enjoying five hard-earned weeks off. I'm still thinking where to go.

Any ideas - memorable assignments or course projects from your own 4th to 8th grade years, however major or minute - that would be good to implement in my classroom? Let me know, as the school gives lots of room for creativity.

Current events

Damn, I can't believe that I haven't bothered to update this one in over a month. There's not a ton to update on, so I'll put that off another day or so. Until then, answer this question:

Why might my sixth grade mothers, who come to me asking for recommendation letters for their children, fear that Korean middle schools will become especially competitive in the upcoming year? Keep in mind that I teach at the most expensive elementary school in Seoul, so we're only talking about a certain demographic.